Unfortunately, I have a recurring waking nightmare during the night, that Colin has died in his sleep. Perhaps it's because I've heard of cases where a person has woken up to find their spouse dead next to them (usually because of something called Sudden Adult Death syndrome, usually caused by heart arrythmias.) And it doesn't help that Colin's favourite sleeping position is face down on the matress...
Whilst very sad, the sudden death syndrome only happens to a tiny percentage of adults, so I really shouldn't get myself worked up about it.
Colin got a terrible fright one morning when I looked over to see him very corpse-like, and realised he was stone cold to the touch - so instead of gently shaking him, I chose to flip him over onto his back in order to begin CPR. Luckily he wasn't actually dead, and just got rudely awakened from his sleep instead.
I have recently got the same fear over the cats. They sleep on the bed so still that they don't look alive anymore, and it's even more terrifying when you touch them and they still don't move.
At work, when a patient isn't attached to a cardiac monitor, I also get the same fear! I think I've got so used to watching someone's heart beats on the screen, that if they are taken off it for any reason, I constantly watch their chest to make sure they're still breathing.
Perhaps being a nurse has just given me that little bit TOO much knowledge, as I always assume the worst with regards to medical problems, as I've seen how bad things can go..
That still doesn't stop me having panic attacks in the night over my dead spouse and pets. So I was thinking, perhaps I could just get a cardiac monitor for the house, so if Colin did have a cardiac arrest for whatever reason, I'd be alerted of it immediately, and therefore my fears of him dying without me realising may be put to rest. Perfectly sensible!
I have also discovered you can get cardiac monitors especially for cats!
